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Don't you just love it when the "Contact Us" or "Help" link hooks you up to Bhaskor or Indira for whom English is not quite yet a second language? I can often can hear them mumbling in Hindi or Bengali under their breaths if I become impatient, and I invariably become impatient.

I always feel betrayed when I call the Service Department at one of the major computer manufacturers whose product I have purchased and find that the link to "Service" takes me to one of several independent outfits that extort an exorbitant credit card charge to walk me through an interminable method of curing the problem by remote control. It worries me terribly about what would occur should all of these geeks expire or tire of listening to whimpering Luddites like me.

"PC" stands for "perpetually contaminated" with more viruses than kept in the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Had the World Wide Web been capable of of propagating the Ebola virus, the human race would have long since ceased to exist.

Final tip for men: If she is at the computer when any sort of glitch takes place, never suggest to your mate that many computer problems can be solved by simply disconnecting the main power cable from the wall socket for a moment or two. If the advice escapes your lips, retire from the scene. If you are still there while she is crawling around behind the computer desk trying to untangle the mass of wires you have carefully woven in the years since you've had one of these infernal devices, she will turn on you like a wounded tigress. Most women cannot abide disorder or dust bunnies.

73,

Phil Richardson, Observer and Storyteller

Phil's current post can be read at:  http://www.imrightagain.com

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